How many have the privilege of being raised in perfect circumstances, amongst a perfect family? Let me tell you if you also had a thought about why do I have to go through this? Why couldn’t I get a more functional family? then you aren’t the only one. A family is supposed to support each other through thick and thin then why do they fight? A child should be nurtured with love and care amongst the family but this might not always be the case. Many people bragged to me about their family bond and I always boiled with jealousy. Why were my parents always fighting?
I grew up being a girl who would be nervous to go back home after school just because she doesn’t know what the mood is back there. Most of the time I was scolded just because my parents were in a bad mood for other reasons. Even a simple question would get them triggered and start ranting about everything I or anyone has ever done. Eventually, I would evaluate their mood before speaking a word to them. I know pretty absurd right? But family, I still loved them to death even though I wanted to move out as soon as possible.
I would hear them shouting at each other from my room for the minimalistic problems. It was as if 2 people were forced to live together because I was there keeping them held to this marriage. After all, they wanted me to be raised with 2 parents. I would silently stand outside their room listening to their pointless argument and wonder why don’t they leave each other for everyone’s sake. Life would be so much easier and better. I was raised between these screams and the constant question they asked me as a “joke”, “If we were to get divorced, who would you choose?” I wanted this to end so that I could breathe and home felt comforting again. I lost my childhood essence and become a mature girl at a very young age because someone had to “act up” in the house. Sometimes this constant violent environment in the house nurtured me to believe that fighting is the way to solving any problem and boy was I wrong.
It took me a lot of self-growth to overcome that problematic “belief” and understand what confrontation is without violence. And then I realized maybe that’s what makes a family. All those disagreements, pointless arguments, constant bickering at the end add up to the love between every member. Eventually, you realize that they care about your existence. They will break if you leave. They call multiple times when we are out just so they know that their blood out there is still running. All the violence around will one day lead to self-growth and you will be the one there for yourself. I love my parents and I’m sure everyone does but these small things tend to trigger and its perfectly fine. Communication is the key and it helps, trust me!
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